so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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