so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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