I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
do herpes really smell.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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