"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I understand Curling. That high.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
