So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
