Your face is a jimmy john
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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