That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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