Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
