There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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