just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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