Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
