I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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