You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
