everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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