if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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