I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I still have a little drunk in my system
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
