Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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