woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
