Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
