I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
