Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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