I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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