I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize