My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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