MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
