He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
