i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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