what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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