i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
