I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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