we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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