I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
