Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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