I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
