You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
