i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize