and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
