You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Randomize
