The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
