people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
