how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
