Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Found the puke drawer
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
