I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Can I color on your dick again?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
