There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
