if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
birth control should be required to get into college
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
