I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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