haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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