I cannot find my penis.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
