Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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