I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
