don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
