Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize