I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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