I like to think it a success when the cops are called
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
