Sry I called you an 8
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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