The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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