remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So vagazzling was a success
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
