What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
