Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
