i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
