I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
