only if we run a train.
done.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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