its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
