You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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