i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
