i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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