actually, I'm a sock model
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
