I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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